Monday, February 9, 2009
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
David Byrne and Brian Eno in the early 1980s.
someone else took this picture. sorry I don't know your name. I couldn't have; i was barely functioning at this time. Brian looks notoriously un glamourous in this picture. notably.
Elliott talks about the POD. and is 1/3 things done.
Bow. BOW FASTER Just checking. So.
Part 1. (pending)
Rehearsal responses.
Part 2. (pending)
Research Responses
Part 3. Field Trip #1 Response To REJOOVEME POD TReAtMENT
After the pod experience, I did a little misc. journaling.
I drew a circle, over and over. And felt like it was very fulfilling.
a. There was a region in the bottom of the pod; there was a heating element. Just barely tolerable amount of heat.
b. There was a pulsey spot, where bass came through; as if it was a large machine somewhere vibrating the building; either just below, or perhaps it was specifically there for the pod experience.
c. Coming through the mouth of the pod there was a steady stream of cool air.
I was very disoriented when I did not have these positional stimuli; and I desired them. They had a calming effect on me that reminded me of closeness and privacy warmth; like having a cat nearby, or a person. I found them soothing, and was attracted to them for certain periods, however, I soon wanted to have nothing at all nearby. A cycle of excitement, tiring, and desire for neutrality.
As if phases; were more important. A series of phases.
Immidiately after jumping into the water, and closing the lid. I had a sense of play ih my body; there somehow was more ability to turn, twist; my balance was riding high on the water and I could shake shimmy and execute bizarre movements. In additiona; when moving in this water, there was a sense of “vibration” when moving in the water. So much stimuli and density in the water that any movement spurred on vibrations through the air; that, in my closed/open dark visual space, I visualized as wavy lines. Like funky smell or spidey sense in comic form.
I think there’s a lot to say about ‘attention’ and space. Like during one of J’s group rehearsals; stillness, (almost tableau) gave a sense of spatial transformation. This was not directly, but perhaps tangentially related to the
“you are destroying the walls” exercise. Perhaps; watching the destroy the walls experiment spurred a trigger, that once the bodies were stilled, I had the chance to participate; to sdestory the walls behind them, to destroy them. Etc.
I became very very aware of ‘automated’ feedback that was coming back to me both via aural and visual feedback (in multiple layers). The first layer and what I would call the predominant experience was silence, breathing and swallowing, as well as or slight splashes and blackness. On top of this “expected” and direct answer to the question of what I experienced, there was a second layer of of hissing/ringing In aural feedback, and for its visual counterpart, what was pulses, sometimes patterned and rhythmic, of light on the darkness along with (sometimes very significantly green) nebulaic patterns, that also tended pulse; and were never ‘directly’ viewable. If I moved my eyes towards them, they never seemed to enter the center view area; they consistnatly were in motion, irrelevant to the position of my eye, and irrelevant to whether my eyes were open or closed. I remember these awesome images from my childhood in elementary school, when I remember often putting my head down and adding slight pressure to my eyes (probably not a good idea), and would trip during class.
There was also a third layer of very seldom experienced sounds and visual feedback. The sounds were body sounds; tapping, my bones and muscles moving/repositioning, popping, relaxing, rubbing, (like little rocks clacking together) in the water (which was transported and amplified from their sources into my ears via the membrane of the earplugs and the water). Also; I became acutely aware of the sound of my eyes opening and closing.
Later in the session, there was a period of time when I just needd to touch my own body to have a familiar feeling (like clothes.. which I couldn’t have) so I touched my skin with my fingers. And later still, I realized I was very unaware that I had a face. I touched my face. It felt bizarre and foreign that I had a nose and a mouth in that moment.
Overall, I experienced a state, that I would call complete relaxation, twice. Once mid-experience, which was quelled by ‘bumping sounds’ that I thought was someone trying to get into my room to let me out of the pod; where I had a panic, and worried that I wouldn’t be able to leave the pod. Because I was unwilling; and if they were unable come in the door, then I’d never leave. I imagine after a certain number of hours, I would become uncomfortable, and then would probably want to leave the pod. So; until that happened; I was worried that I would get charged money or something. Neurosis. So; I couldn’t relax anymore; eventually I decided that it had not been an hour yet, so… I must have underestimated time. A lot. And I had. I bet that was 30 minutes into the experience. Later, I found another place; I remember because I achieved a space of slow, rhythmic breathing, which I anticipate had some other kineasthetic raminifcatgions; or feelings. Lik … semi-sleep dream state, and /or other. Because I had no clue I was awake or dreaming or whatever. So; that was fun.
Twisty spine, flow.
I always felt like I knew the size of the space; even late in the process. From visual memory ,and from the sound of the reverberations of the splashses.
I spent a lot of time spraying my eyeballs with the water bottle, and being confused at how I was so calm and wiling to have water strike my eyes, when I couldn’t see it coming.
I got really obsessed with what kind of chemicals were in the water.
I felt like I was abducted by aliens.
Jarring; When the lid opened, I was totally disoriented; at first all I could see was COLOR; blue. White./grey. (whoa). And shapes. Moving shapes. Eventually I realized I was looking WAY WAY up towards over the crown of my head. Then I tried to lift my head to look at my feet; which was amazing. Wow. Feet. Wow I’m in a room, I’m in a tub of water that looks like an alien spaceship in a suburban drop ceiling faux spa fancy room.
Then I tried to sit up, and I fell over. Then I sat up again and felt like a baby, or a drug addict. I was happy; but I didn’t want ot move. So I just sat there for a while. Calmly breathing; thinking about how cold the room was now that the pod was opeen.
IN THE POD:
What did i
Actually Feel
Water. Quiet. Slipperyness stingyeyes plastic (smooth bizarre un organic things)
Want to Feel
Whales. Nothing. The sun.
How did I feel.
Through my sense of touch, through a frustratingly analytical brain (I got tired of it).
What did I see
Things that were not there; things inside my brain. My nerve pathways. Nebulai. Wavy lines. Blobs. Giant blobs. Green. Nothing that was close to me.
How did I see.
Vacantly, impulsevly , I was constantly seeking or searching for something to see
What did I want to see.
Nothing. Whatever I thought of, when IW as thinking. I attempted to see people’s faces, objects, places, in my memory. And did not see them successfuly.
What did I hear
Splashes. Breathing. Rocks, tapping, myself; eye lids pulsesl , low hums people walking, or scuffling/shuffling (like animals) engines, muscles. High pithc noises. Swallowing.
How did I hear
Like I was seeking something; very hard. Very “stretched” perhaps too strained. I should have tried less perhaps in retrospect.
What did I want to hear
Things that were not there. Justin.
What did I taste
chemicals
How did I taste
By opening my mouth.
What did I want to taste.
Nothing
What did I move
Erratically and urgently/ like I was struggling sometimes, other times stillness slow; arms overhead. Arms on the side. My arms were always trying to bein different places. I moved my neck up and down. I moved my spine side to side in oscillations I moved my hips.
How did I move (see above)
What did I want to move
My body. My mind. My .. I wanted to MOVE FAR FAR FAR and yet I was still in a pod. I wanted a … teselleacting experience.
What did I behave
Sometimes erratically, other times, in attempts to relax.
How did I behave
I kept trying to do it how it was supposed to be done.
What did I want to behave.
I wanted to do more erratic things, but I decided to repress those impulses because I wanted it to be a pure (perhaps shared) experience. So I did what I expected was to be done.
Part 1. (pending)
Rehearsal responses.
Part 2. (pending)
Research Responses
Part 3. Field Trip #1 Response To REJOOVEME POD TReAtMENT
After the pod experience, I did a little misc. journaling.
I drew a circle, over and over. And felt like it was very fulfilling.
a. There was a region in the bottom of the pod; there was a heating element. Just barely tolerable amount of heat.
b. There was a pulsey spot, where bass came through; as if it was a large machine somewhere vibrating the building; either just below, or perhaps it was specifically there for the pod experience.
c. Coming through the mouth of the pod there was a steady stream of cool air.
I was very disoriented when I did not have these positional stimuli; and I desired them. They had a calming effect on me that reminded me of closeness and privacy warmth; like having a cat nearby, or a person. I found them soothing, and was attracted to them for certain periods, however, I soon wanted to have nothing at all nearby. A cycle of excitement, tiring, and desire for neutrality.
As if phases; were more important. A series of phases.
Immidiately after jumping into the water, and closing the lid. I had a sense of play ih my body; there somehow was more ability to turn, twist; my balance was riding high on the water and I could shake shimmy and execute bizarre movements. In additiona; when moving in this water, there was a sense of “vibration” when moving in the water. So much stimuli and density in the water that any movement spurred on vibrations through the air; that, in my closed/open dark visual space, I visualized as wavy lines. Like funky smell or spidey sense in comic form.
I think there’s a lot to say about ‘attention’ and space. Like during one of J’s group rehearsals; stillness, (almost tableau) gave a sense of spatial transformation. This was not directly, but perhaps tangentially related to the
“you are destroying the walls” exercise. Perhaps; watching the destroy the walls experiment spurred a trigger, that once the bodies were stilled, I had the chance to participate; to sdestory the walls behind them, to destroy them. Etc.
I became very very aware of ‘automated’ feedback that was coming back to me both via aural and visual feedback (in multiple layers). The first layer and what I would call the predominant experience was silence, breathing and swallowing, as well as or slight splashes and blackness. On top of this “expected” and direct answer to the question of what I experienced, there was a second layer of of hissing/ringing In aural feedback, and for its visual counterpart, what was pulses, sometimes patterned and rhythmic, of light on the darkness along with (sometimes very significantly green) nebulaic patterns, that also tended pulse; and were never ‘directly’ viewable. If I moved my eyes towards them, they never seemed to enter the center view area; they consistnatly were in motion, irrelevant to the position of my eye, and irrelevant to whether my eyes were open or closed. I remember these awesome images from my childhood in elementary school, when I remember often putting my head down and adding slight pressure to my eyes (probably not a good idea), and would trip during class.
There was also a third layer of very seldom experienced sounds and visual feedback. The sounds were body sounds; tapping, my bones and muscles moving/repositioning, popping, relaxing, rubbing, (like little rocks clacking together) in the water (which was transported and amplified from their sources into my ears via the membrane of the earplugs and the water). Also; I became acutely aware of the sound of my eyes opening and closing.
Later in the session, there was a period of time when I just needd to touch my own body to have a familiar feeling (like clothes.. which I couldn’t have) so I touched my skin with my fingers. And later still, I realized I was very unaware that I had a face. I touched my face. It felt bizarre and foreign that I had a nose and a mouth in that moment.
Overall, I experienced a state, that I would call complete relaxation, twice. Once mid-experience, which was quelled by ‘bumping sounds’ that I thought was someone trying to get into my room to let me out of the pod; where I had a panic, and worried that I wouldn’t be able to leave the pod. Because I was unwilling; and if they were unable come in the door, then I’d never leave. I imagine after a certain number of hours, I would become uncomfortable, and then would probably want to leave the pod. So; until that happened; I was worried that I would get charged money or something. Neurosis. So; I couldn’t relax anymore; eventually I decided that it had not been an hour yet, so… I must have underestimated time. A lot. And I had. I bet that was 30 minutes into the experience. Later, I found another place; I remember because I achieved a space of slow, rhythmic breathing, which I anticipate had some other kineasthetic raminifcatgions; or feelings. Lik … semi-sleep dream state, and /or other. Because I had no clue I was awake or dreaming or whatever. So; that was fun.
Twisty spine, flow.
I always felt like I knew the size of the space; even late in the process. From visual memory ,and from the sound of the reverberations of the splashses.
I spent a lot of time spraying my eyeballs with the water bottle, and being confused at how I was so calm and wiling to have water strike my eyes, when I couldn’t see it coming.
I got really obsessed with what kind of chemicals were in the water.
I felt like I was abducted by aliens.
Jarring; When the lid opened, I was totally disoriented; at first all I could see was COLOR; blue. White./grey. (whoa). And shapes. Moving shapes. Eventually I realized I was looking WAY WAY up towards over the crown of my head. Then I tried to lift my head to look at my feet; which was amazing. Wow. Feet. Wow I’m in a room, I’m in a tub of water that looks like an alien spaceship in a suburban drop ceiling faux spa fancy room.
Then I tried to sit up, and I fell over. Then I sat up again and felt like a baby, or a drug addict. I was happy; but I didn’t want ot move. So I just sat there for a while. Calmly breathing; thinking about how cold the room was now that the pod was opeen.
IN THE POD:
What did i
Actually Feel
Water. Quiet. Slipperyness stingyeyes plastic (smooth bizarre un organic things)
Want to Feel
Whales. Nothing. The sun.
How did I feel.
Through my sense of touch, through a frustratingly analytical brain (I got tired of it).
What did I see
Things that were not there; things inside my brain. My nerve pathways. Nebulai. Wavy lines. Blobs. Giant blobs. Green. Nothing that was close to me.
How did I see.
Vacantly, impulsevly , I was constantly seeking or searching for something to see
What did I want to see.
Nothing. Whatever I thought of, when IW as thinking. I attempted to see people’s faces, objects, places, in my memory. And did not see them successfuly.
What did I hear
Splashes. Breathing. Rocks, tapping, myself; eye lids pulsesl , low hums people walking, or scuffling/shuffling (like animals) engines, muscles. High pithc noises. Swallowing.
How did I hear
Like I was seeking something; very hard. Very “stretched” perhaps too strained. I should have tried less perhaps in retrospect.
What did I want to hear
Things that were not there. Justin.
What did I taste
chemicals
How did I taste
By opening my mouth.
What did I want to taste.
Nothing
What did I move
Erratically and urgently/ like I was struggling sometimes, other times stillness slow; arms overhead. Arms on the side. My arms were always trying to bein different places. I moved my neck up and down. I moved my spine side to side in oscillations I moved my hips.
How did I move (see above)
What did I want to move
My body. My mind. My .. I wanted to MOVE FAR FAR FAR and yet I was still in a pod. I wanted a … teselleacting experience.
What did I behave
Sometimes erratically, other times, in attempts to relax.
How did I behave
I kept trying to do it how it was supposed to be done.
What did I want to behave.
I wanted to do more erratic things, but I decided to repress those impulses because I wanted it to be a pure (perhaps shared) experience. So I did what I expected was to be done.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
>)>)RehearsalReports(<(<
START
+ 30 minutes Blind Moving - Authentic movement. Sensory deprivation. How does perception of sound change. Getting to know you. What if I only sat and watched for the whole rehearsal process. What if this whole process was sat and watched by someone. An everpresent, everchanging audience. {Some things I wrote down as I watched[ foot dragging-> movement that equals sound that builds maps? Move and narrate. Find and audio describer. Move stop / build maps. Rubbing foot on tape nub. 2 tempos at once asserting simultaneoulsly. A watcher takes care of the dancer. Pattern seekers? No Sight = skin and sound. Could I create a disconnect between movement and its resultant sound? Hand hit floor for foot hit floor mix up? Looking vs. Thinking. A face rings an emotion :-0 vs. :-|. Some things that the dancers said about their experience. "Looking through. Small movement and delicate movement. Different sensations. Useless arms. Wanted to grab with them. Submerged in water. Trying to hear everything and relate to it. BORED. Discover and stop thinking. Know where I am but don't. I saw Big Rectangles with my eyes closed. I felt Heavy Eyelids. I saw a big large animal on its side. I saw an image of the room that was smaller and darker and i could only see part of it. I felt selfish, like I was the only thing in the world. I felt as if I was in a hibernating state." ]end}
Rehearsal #2 - 9/27/08
+ Running by sound, measuring distance by sound. Go Go Go Go Stop.
+ Eyes closed in the middle of the room. Approach the walls. find the wall by attending to the sonic change as you approach the surface. Shuffle your feet to make a sound to attend to the change of. Structure - all are shoulder to shoulder facing out circle moving tiny steps in a circle. One at a time leave the circle to approach the wall use sensation to detect when someone has left and stagger your leaving to approach the wall.
+ Proprioceptive map improvisation/composition. I improvise and they copy me. One at a time they 'record' a position that I was in and all memorize. Two groups work using the positions to recreate the improvisation. (ephemerality - liquid vs. solid movement) I then looked at the two phrases together and then asked them to do with with no arms and giant legs.
+ Artificial Homunculus. Giant head. Giant Hand. Giant Foot. One walker w/all else creating superfeet w/spontaneous direction changes.
Rehearsal #3 - 10/4/08
+ Introductions. (forgot to do this earlier) Who are you and what are you doing here?
+ Swaying.
+ RunningPushing and Retreating. Near -> far. Proximity, a la M. G. & t. P.P.
+ Running and crossing. Small repeated crossings.
( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) ( ) vs. )_)_ )_)_)_)_)_
punctuative representation of swaying patterns
END
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